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Posted by / 25-Jan-2018 08:58

Onion dating service

WASHINGTON—In what researchers say marks a profound change in the nation’s attitude toward religion, a new Pew Research Center poll released Thursday found a significant decline in the number of Americans who believe they are God.

BELFAST, NORTHERN IRELAND—Discussing the hit HBO fantasy drama with reporters ahead of this weekend’s season finale, ‘Game Of Thrones’ producers revealed Thursday that the series had moved beyond the show’s written script halfway through the current season.

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.

WESTPORT, CT—Shedding light on the formative years of the late actor and philanthropist, researchers cataloging the personal archives of Paul Newman confirmed Friday they had uncovered a long-forgotten salsa from early in his career.

“One day you might get paired with someone from work who you’ve always regarded as mediocre-looking and kind of dumb, while the next it could be a friend of a friend whose annoying Twitter feed you muted.

Our algorithm is designed to help you see a person you’ve always found unappealing as your next romantic partner—at this point, why not?

SAN FRANCISCO—Saying love could be as close as a neighbor or colleague you’ve never once found yourself remotely interested in, new dating website On Second launched this week with a promise to pair users with people they already know but thought they were too good for.

The problem was that Mills was also single at the time and felt like all online dating sites sucked.

You’ve seen the commercials for dating sites such as e Harmony where they show a success story of two strangers finding their soul mate and falling deeply in love.

The parody is done with the typical sappy piano music as they recount the enchanting details of their fairy tale romance: A lot of people on dating sites aren’t looking for their one true love, but rather their one true great fuck.

MINNEAPOLIS—Fully aware of his numerous flaws and unappealing personal characteristics, local 33-year-old Phillip Morgan confided to reporters Wednesday that he found it a bit unsettling to imagine that the perfect woman for him is out there somewhe...

CHICAGO—Citing it as the telltale indicator of long-term marital satisfaction, a report released Wednesday by the Family Institute at Northwestern University found that the sole predictor of a successful marriage is whether or not the husband ever w...

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Rarely is anything so cute as my parents who actually met at a laundry mat. I love the rise of niche sites because it means people with every bizarre inclination can seek out others who are like them.